Birdnesting: A Creative Solution for Divorced Parents in Illinois

 Posted on November 19, 2024 in Divorce

When parents divorce, one of the hardest parts for them to figure out can be how to collaborate to raise and care for their children after they are separated. A growing trend called birdnesting offers a creative solution. Birdnesting means that the children stay in one home, while the parents take turns living in that home. This arrangement can be challenging and uncomfortable for some, so it is crucial to examine your dynamics with your ex before attempting it. However, if it can work for you, birdnesting can be an excellent way for families to address the emotional and practical challenges of divorce. Speak with a knowledgeable Arlington Heights, IL divorce lawyer to learn more.

What is Birdnesting?

In a typical divorce, children need to adjust to living in two different homes — one with each parent. This means moving back and forth between homes and adjusting to different rules and routines, which can be challenging. 

Birdnesting changes this by allowing the children to stay in the same home throughout the divorce process. Instead of the children moving between parents' homes, the parents rotate in and out of the family home. Each parent has a schedule showing when they are supposed to stay in the home with their child, and when they need to stay somewhere else because it is the other parent’s turn.

How Does Birdnesting Work?

Birdnesting depends on the parents’ ability to communicate and cooperate. If they cannot set aside their differences for the sake of their children and are instead focused on trying to punish each other, it will not work. 

Each parent agrees on a schedule for when they will stay in the family home. They might decide on a weekly rotation, where every other week one parent is in the home with their child for an entire week, and the following week, it is the other parent’s turn. They might have an every-other-day arrangement. In a period of change and transition, the goal of birdnesting is to help maintain a sense of stability in the children’s lives.

Challenges of Birdnesting

Although birdnesting can be a creative solution, it is not always easy or even possible. It requires a lot of cooperation and flexibility from both parents, which is not always realistic for people in the midst of breaking up their marriage. 

Disagreements about schedules or living arrangements can come up. It can be difficult for people getting divorced to share the same living space, even if they are not occupying it at the same time. Some parents find that to move on, they need a clean break and their own space. 

However, even if birdnesting is not a feasible long-term solution for you, it can be an excellent option as a temporary solution. It can be a great way to gradually transition from living together as a family to living separately, helping children get used to the idea of divorce while enabling them to stay in a stable, familiar environment.

Contact an Arlington Heights, IL Family Law Attorney

If you and your spouse are willing to work together to find a solution that suits your child’s best interest, a dedicated Illinois divorce lawyer can explain what is involved in birdnesting and see whether it might suit your needs. Despite the challenges it can present, this creative option is a great way to help children feel secure as their parents go through the divorce process. At A. Traub & Associates, we are passionate about helping families get their best outcomes through outside-the-box thinking. Call 847-749-4182 to schedule a private consultation and discuss your questions and concerns.